1. You can do judo as much or as little as you want, you get to decide.
  2. You can count on it at least 4 times a week.
  3. In judo you don’t have to compliment the other person on their new uniform.
  4. In judo, you can play with the same people every day for a year and it’s never the same twice.
  5. You don’t have to buy the other person dinner to get a partner.
  6. In judo you don’t feel guilty about winning the ugly ones.
  7. After an unusually long and difficult judo class you can still ride your bike home.
  8. In a judo match you only have a few minutes before you have to climax.
  9. If you get all scratched up in a judo match, you can brag about it to your wife.
  10. The goal in judo is to stay erect as long as you can.
  11. You don’t mind if your parents come to watch you in judo.
  12. People cheer when you score.
  13. You can score without any foreplay.
  14. In a good weekend of judo you can go with 6 or 7 different people and it only costs you twenty bucks and you may get a prize at the end.
  15. In judo the other person has to pay attention throughout, even if they’re done scoring.
  16. Scoring on the wrong competitor won’t get you shot.
  17. You can be pretty certain that nine months after a judo match the other guy’s lawyers won’t call, asking for half of your pre-tax income for the next eighteen years.
  18. The other guy will probably not invite you to the ballet.
  19. The other competitor doesn’t demand that you shave before the match.
  20. You have a coach to tell you when to enter, when to drive, and when to get up again.
  21. In judo you have a referee who makes sure the other person is safe so you don’t need protection.
  22. If you don’t score in a judo match, the other guy doesn’t ask you if you’ve had that problem often.
  23. You can grapple with everyone in class the same night.
  24. In judo you have to practice all the positions, not just the one you like.
  25. In judo the other person can’t stall or refuse to engage.
geesink Why Judo Can Be Better Than Sex

“Remember, nothing hurts worse than pain.”

This award winning page is copyright © 1997 by Neil Ohlenkamp, Encino Judo Club, California, USA. All rights reserved. Created December 12, 1997.