By Neil Ohlenkamp

10) Your club patch is a bulls-eye target.
9) First technique consists of falling to the floor, curling into the fetal position, and whimpering pitifully.
8) The “gis” are used hospital gowns.
7) The homework is always to watch another Jackie Chan movie.
6) The techniques are only effective if your attacker is one of the Three Stooges.
5) The club motto is “If you fall down eight times, get up seven”.
4) Ranks are issued on scrolls in Japanese.
3) Students take themselves to the mat 2 or 3 times simply trying to tie their belts.
2) Sensei’s hands are registered with the local police as a deadly weapon.

and the number 1 sign you’ve joined the wrong Judo club…

1) Did Jigoro Kano ever really say he was going to “open up a can of whoop-ass” on someone?

“Judo does not teach the student to invite danger gratuitously. What it does teach him is how he can best bear himself when danger comes his way.”
E.J. Harrison, achieved blackbelt in 1905

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